Well, I started damn-ass school yesterday, but it is not so bad. Yesterday I had Family Development Over the Life Cycle, Social Psychology, and Teachers Schools and Learners. Then today I had Abnormal Psychology and Statistics. Starting next week on Mondays and Wednesdays I will be "mentoring" at Blowing Rock Elementary School in the 5th Dimension program, and I think when they tell me I will be "mentoring" they mean I will be "babysitting until the kids' parents get off work and pick them up like a bucket of chicken on Friday night," but it's half of my credit for my Teachers class, so I have to do it. That's sort of lame, because I'm not even a teaching major, but I have to do all this teaching stuff for this class. Not a big deal, not like I've never done that stuff before, but it's kind of a drag because one of the reasons I switched my major from Elementary Ed was because I hated all the internships and field work and I figured if I hated that stuff already, I'd be a pretty shitty teacher. But now I'm stuck doing it again. It's like I can't get away! I think I'm the only person in my class who isn't an Education major. But anyway, like I said, I'm not pissed about it or anything. It's only for one semester, so I'll live.
That reminds me of an incredibly long and boring story. Last semester I was required to visit my department advisor before I could register for classes. This was right after I declared my major as Child Development with the Psychology concentration. See, I want to be a guidance counselor (don't judge me) so I think this is a pretty logical course of study -- as do all the other professors I've talked to. Anyway, so I go to my advisor, and she's all asking me what I want to be when I grow up, and I say a high school guidance counselor, and she gets all fresh and says "Well, why are you majoring in Child Development then?" So I says to her, I says, "Because I want to be...a counselor...notice the Psych concentration..." And she acts like I am just this huge dumbass who has never been to college and I could not have PICKED a worse major for what I want to be. So she basically tells me I'm all wrong and that I'm fucked, and mentions the name of the head of the graduate counseling department in the process. So she gets me all stressed out, right? So I go home and decide to email the department head and ask her if I'm totally fucked. I get an email from her a couple days later and she says that Child Development/Psych is a perfect major for her Counseling program. CHECK and MATE, bitch. Anyway, the point is, guess who teaches my Life Cycle class? My advisor. I don't think she remembers me, but maybe she does, and she spends the whole class thinking about what an imbecile I must be.
I'm in the school library right now, nerding away, because Jay is down the street at his friend's house playing DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. I'm not judging, but...I'm just throwing that out there. You decide.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
tl;dr
I have a question for the two, maybe three people who read this collection of vast wisdom and virtue I call my interweb-log.
Why would you have kids? Ever? On purpose? My reasons for not doing so:
1. We already have enough people.
2. Kids stink.
3. They poop on all of your stuff, and they don't care.
4. They ruin your life by crying at inappropriate times, pooping at inappropriate times, making you stay home all the time, making you ugly, and using up all of your money so that you can't spend it on things you need, like grown-up food.
5. They get a little bit older, and hate you.
6. They wreck your car, probably.
7. They continue to spend all your money.
8. There are already thousands of kids living in childrens' homes and the like who don't have families and are growing up alone in suck-ass conditions, and if I was going to raise a kid, I would want to help a kid who already exists and has a shitty life than to just make a new one, when there are already billions of people in the world, millions of whom are starving, and if there isn't enough fucking food for the people who already exist, why are we making new ones?
9. They cry in the grocery store and make everyone else in the store want to explode.
10. They will give you sicknesses they catch from other children. Probably lice, too.
Not that people who have kids are bad people. I suppose I can understand the motivation to have kids -- instinct, and all. I guess I was just born without it. I have no desire to have children. Am I a monster? Aren't women my age supposed to be jumping on the maternal-instinct bandwagon? It just seems like our culture glamorizes motherhood so much. Again, not to say that our moms don't deserve respect -- of course we love our moms -- but squeezing out a kid does not automatically make you a saint. Am I right? Everywhere I look I see all this shit about how having kids is, like, the best fricking thing ever and if you do it you are automatically going to heaven because it is just the most wonderful fricking act anyone in the universe could ever do, because no other creature in the world squirts out its own offspring. Your life will rule if you have a baby! Your baby will be so cute! Go ahead, do it! Look at this happy pregnant lady! She's so happy because her fetus is leeching all the calcium from her bones!
Okay, I just read over everything I read up to this point and I think it is safe to say that I am fucking crazy and I should probably go see a doctor. Well, crazy people don't know they're crazy, right? Like I said earlier, I'm a monster.
Anypants, I'm going to the beach for a week tomorrow, so I won't be writing anything for another week probably. Like I updated every day to begin with, amirite!
Why would you have kids? Ever? On purpose? My reasons for not doing so:
1. We already have enough people.
2. Kids stink.
3. They poop on all of your stuff, and they don't care.
4. They ruin your life by crying at inappropriate times, pooping at inappropriate times, making you stay home all the time, making you ugly, and using up all of your money so that you can't spend it on things you need, like grown-up food.
5. They get a little bit older, and hate you.
6. They wreck your car, probably.
7. They continue to spend all your money.
8. There are already thousands of kids living in childrens' homes and the like who don't have families and are growing up alone in suck-ass conditions, and if I was going to raise a kid, I would want to help a kid who already exists and has a shitty life than to just make a new one, when there are already billions of people in the world, millions of whom are starving, and if there isn't enough fucking food for the people who already exist, why are we making new ones?
9. They cry in the grocery store and make everyone else in the store want to explode.
10. They will give you sicknesses they catch from other children. Probably lice, too.
Not that people who have kids are bad people. I suppose I can understand the motivation to have kids -- instinct, and all. I guess I was just born without it. I have no desire to have children. Am I a monster? Aren't women my age supposed to be jumping on the maternal-instinct bandwagon? It just seems like our culture glamorizes motherhood so much. Again, not to say that our moms don't deserve respect -- of course we love our moms -- but squeezing out a kid does not automatically make you a saint. Am I right? Everywhere I look I see all this shit about how having kids is, like, the best fricking thing ever and if you do it you are automatically going to heaven because it is just the most wonderful fricking act anyone in the universe could ever do, because no other creature in the world squirts out its own offspring. Your life will rule if you have a baby! Your baby will be so cute! Go ahead, do it! Look at this happy pregnant lady! She's so happy because her fetus is leeching all the calcium from her bones!
Okay, I just read over everything I read up to this point and I think it is safe to say that I am fucking crazy and I should probably go see a doctor. Well, crazy people don't know they're crazy, right? Like I said earlier, I'm a monster.
Anypants, I'm going to the beach for a week tomorrow, so I won't be writing anything for another week probably. Like I updated every day to begin with, amirite!
Friday, August 1, 2008
I present to you: the most XstraightXedgeX motherfucker in the world! The Arcata Eye interviews Scott Burns, "second-in-command of national drug policy."
A couple of gems from the article (you should really read the whole interview if you have time):
The Arcata Eye: ...How can we reconcile that with the government telling us what we can ingest and what we can’t?
Scott Burns: ...Well, in some instances we just say your, quote, “constitutional rights” and your freedom to do certain things gets trumped by the rest of us who say, “You know that’s just not a good idea.”
The Arcata Eye: Is it realistic to keep marijuana as a Schedule 1 drug, in with cocaine and heroin?
Scott Burns: Yes it is, and I’ll tell you why. ...Everyone that is addicted to drugs in this United States, started with either alcohol and/or marijuana, and they started when they were 13, 12 or 11. ...[It] is the same as cocaine and methamphetamine and heroin.
If you read the article, you'll notice that Scott Burns, who is deputy director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy (a completely necessary agency, I'm sure!), completely misses the point of the Eye's allusion to the double standard between marijuana and alcohol. No one is saying "Hey y'all! Alcohol ruins lives. That's awesome! Let's legalize pot and make our lives really, really terrible!" The point is, why is it that space cadets like Burns are busting their asses to make sure that America's innocent, cherubic youth remain eternally ignorant of the very existence of cannabis...while there are TV commercials, newspaper ads, and billboards advertising hard liquor (and even a NASCAR car emblazoned with the Budweiser emblem - how's that for irony)?
There is no answer to that question. The only estimate that comes close is that Scott Burns lives in a bubble like Jake Gyllenhaal in that one movie, and that he never goes outside, has never met another human being, has never read a book, and has never stopped to consider rational thought in his entire mind-bendingly vacuous life. I'm glad we have dudes like him trumping our Constitutional rights!
Oh, hey guys, don't mind me...just spinnin' in my grave.
Thanks to Tim.
A couple of gems from the article (you should really read the whole interview if you have time):
The Arcata Eye: ...How can we reconcile that with the government telling us what we can ingest and what we can’t?
Scott Burns: ...Well, in some instances we just say your, quote, “constitutional rights” and your freedom to do certain things gets trumped by the rest of us who say, “You know that’s just not a good idea.”
The Arcata Eye: Is it realistic to keep marijuana as a Schedule 1 drug, in with cocaine and heroin?
Scott Burns: Yes it is, and I’ll tell you why. ...Everyone that is addicted to drugs in this United States, started with either alcohol and/or marijuana, and they started when they were 13, 12 or 11. ...[It] is the same as cocaine and methamphetamine and heroin.
If you read the article, you'll notice that Scott Burns, who is deputy director of the Office of National Drug Control Policy (a completely necessary agency, I'm sure!), completely misses the point of the Eye's allusion to the double standard between marijuana and alcohol. No one is saying "Hey y'all! Alcohol ruins lives. That's awesome! Let's legalize pot and make our lives really, really terrible!" The point is, why is it that space cadets like Burns are busting their asses to make sure that America's innocent, cherubic youth remain eternally ignorant of the very existence of cannabis...while there are TV commercials, newspaper ads, and billboards advertising hard liquor (and even a NASCAR car emblazoned with the Budweiser emblem - how's that for irony)?
There is no answer to that question. The only estimate that comes close is that Scott Burns lives in a bubble like Jake Gyllenhaal in that one movie, and that he never goes outside, has never met another human being, has never read a book, and has never stopped to consider rational thought in his entire mind-bendingly vacuous life. I'm glad we have dudes like him trumping our Constitutional rights!
Oh, hey guys, don't mind me...just spinnin' in my grave.
Thanks to Tim.
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