I have a question for the two, maybe three people who read this collection of vast wisdom and virtue I call my interweb-log.
Why would you have kids? Ever? On purpose? My reasons for not doing so:
1. We already have enough people.
2. Kids stink.
3. They poop on all of your stuff, and they don't care.
4. They ruin your life by crying at inappropriate times, pooping at inappropriate times, making you stay home all the time, making you ugly, and using up all of your money so that you can't spend it on things you need, like grown-up food.
5. They get a little bit older, and hate you.
6. They wreck your car, probably.
7. They continue to spend all your money.
8. There are already thousands of kids living in childrens' homes and the like who don't have families and are growing up alone in suck-ass conditions, and if I was going to raise a kid, I would want to help a kid who already exists and has a shitty life than to just make a new one, when there are already billions of people in the world, millions of whom are starving, and if there isn't enough fucking food for the people who already exist, why are we making new ones?
9. They cry in the grocery store and make everyone else in the store want to explode.
10. They will give you sicknesses they catch from other children. Probably lice, too.
Not that people who have kids are bad people. I suppose I can understand the motivation to have kids -- instinct, and all. I guess I was just born without it. I have no desire to have children. Am I a monster? Aren't women my age supposed to be jumping on the maternal-instinct bandwagon? It just seems like our culture glamorizes motherhood so much. Again, not to say that our moms don't deserve respect -- of course we love our moms -- but squeezing out a kid does not automatically make you a saint. Am I right? Everywhere I look I see all this shit about how having kids is, like, the best fricking thing ever and if you do it you are automatically going to heaven because it is just the most wonderful fricking act anyone in the universe could ever do, because no other creature in the world squirts out its own offspring. Your life will rule if you have a baby! Your baby will be so cute! Go ahead, do it! Look at this happy pregnant lady! She's so happy because her fetus is leeching all the calcium from her bones!
Okay, I just read over everything I read up to this point and I think it is safe to say that I am fucking crazy and I should probably go see a doctor. Well, crazy people don't know they're crazy, right? Like I said earlier, I'm a monster.
Anypants, I'm going to the beach for a week tomorrow, so I won't be writing anything for another week probably. Like I updated every day to begin with, amirite!
About Me
- Cate
- I recently graduated from Appalachian State University with a useless degree. I'm a grownup now.
2 comments:
Having kids is rude.
I've been of the opinion that people of higher intelligence need to have kids, if only to protect/insulate our society from the bilge that will continue to have (many) kids. Because--for the poor, destitute or lazy--having kids instantly grants them a lot more federal privileges than the average American citizen. Their children will more than likely follow this cycle, and eventually the whole country laughs whenever they see a Fuddrucker's sign, yet don't even know what the First Amendment entails.
"It just seems like our culture glamorizes motherhood so much."
On the surface, perhaps. However, I think the ultra-motivated, "change the world and do it all for MEEEEE!" types--aka career-centric people--are increasingly cutting off their own family lines, and I find it kind of perplexing as to why an individual wouldn't want to have some sort of imprint on the future generations...you can't take it with you.
Plus, a lot of people actually like kids!
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